It began snowing outside today, for the first time since I left on the 6th January and I think that’s pretty good going. It’s been a particularly warm and dry winter, so a little snow was to be expected eventually; especially as I head further north on my journey.
With the mix of the powerful storm and now the snow, I decided to hold tight for one more day, meaning I’m still hauled up in the same spot. I have everything I need here including a little protection from the strong winds and a toilet block.
A little downtime in my campervan has meant that I have managed to do a lot of thinking, a lot of reading and a lot of meditation. A particular person who kept popping into my mind was a therapist I began seeing back at home in Sepetember.
First of all I just want to say that even admitting to seeing a therapist or reaching out for that help in the first place is something that still holds a lot of weight for many people.
The journal style of this blog which I am creating is about lifting shame, lifting embarrassment, sharing the valnerabilties we all have.
It’s about saying “yes I experienced that, yes I felt that, yes I did that, but I’m taking power away from it and turning it into something which will help me to grow.”
None of us are anywhere near perfect and sometimes we make choices based on fear, lonliness, expectations, self defence, culture, gender, other peoples judgements, and a whole mutitude of other reasons.
One thing I have learned is that every choice we make, every experience we go through, it’s never as simple as a good or a bad thing.
Every ‘bad’ choice or experience has a lesson within it, a strengthening tool for life ahead, a way to relate to others further down the line.
ln the same way every ‘good’ choice has bad effects somewhere else, whether that’s sacrificing something, or having a ripple affect on someone elses life. It’s all in balance and never just black and white.
Life is one big rainbow of colour! Some of the worst decisions I have ever made, have turned out to be my favourite life choices as they have helped to shape who I am.
I have no regrets.
My sessions with my therapist were a real turning point in life and she helped me to clarify some of what I have just written. She is one of the reasons I am currently on this journey.
There is no shame in asking for help if you are struggling. We are all just trying to do our best after all. We are all just trying to cope with the hand we have been delt in life. No one really knows the true reality of anyone else’s situation or path in life.
One thing we can decide in this life though is this: Will we let the bad things destroy us, or will we use them to shape us into better, more whole, kinder, braver, deeper individuals with a better understanding of who we are and how we want to live?
This is what i sent her.
Hi,
I hope you have been well?
I really just wanted to get in touch to say thank you!
I’m writing this email from my campervan in Snowdonia! I’ve quit my business, I ended that toxic relationship before I left and I’m learning new skills that align with who I am. I just feel so free and happy and a huge part of that is because of you.
I know we didn’t do many sessions but for the first time in my life I actually felt like I had a space, safe enough to open up and it has done wonders. You were the catalyst I needed to start shaking off a lot of stagnant emotions that didn’t have a place in my life any more. You also made me see that the people who want me in their life will support whatever decisions I make, leaving me free to listen to my heart and make decisions purely for myself.
I’ve continued the journey I began with you via a blog that I now write.
Thanks for being part of my journey
Themanofthepeople 